run, fat girl, run (walk) run!

I love Myrtle's blue eggs

 Well, my #keepingitreal series on instagram went down a storm - who knew we all felt so unable to share the mess!! I won't be sharing any more (less risking my otherwise strong marriage!) but for one day only it was refreshing to see lots of other homes looking just like mine rather than lots of people enjoying their perfect life!
(Husband aside) I found it unbelievably liberating - but will be going back to photographing the pretty bits of my life from today! On a day to day basis it's that which keeps me sane.

Anyway - while I'm feeling frank (not literally) I thought I'd share another couple of my demons. Cleggy - I can hear you groan. Please don't worry - there will be no sharing of cellulite.

Here's the very brief background to my run.

I'm 42, 5ft tall and currently at my heaviest ever weight of 12 stone. I'm not proud. 
 

boy's room sign - available again in shop soon!

I have struggled with my weight (physically and emotionally) since I was about 13 and tried (literally) every single diet going. My husband 
(who appears to be getting MORE handsome by the year - how?!) and I are going to Venice in a couple of months time to celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. 
A few years ago I wouldn't have seen 'a couple of months' as a problem - I would have set to on some (REALLY) extreme diet and lost a couple of stone!!!

It's taken me to my 40's to realise this isn't the way - and probably explains why I've been fat/thin/fat all my life.

blocks for Wilfy

Don't get me wrong, I'm not moaning here. Despite my protestations over the years about genetics/glands/contraception devices/the fact that my bosom alone weighs about 3 stone I know the main reason I am overweight is because I bloody love my food. LO♥E it. I love everything about it from the planning to the making to the socialising. I also know that I am lucky to be well and healthy. If my only worry is that I'm over weight then I'm extremely fortunate.


The one thing I have never tried is proper exercise (if anyone fancies a fitness DVD  let me know - I have them all. Literally)

a poncho in the making (for meeee!)

So, back to Venice. Accepting that 2 months is in fact a very short time I've decided to set myself a very rough goal of losing a stone (I need something to work towards) and much more than that I would like to feel better. Recently my hip has started to ache when I get up or walk a long distance - this scares me.

A finished poncho (for Mabel)

SO.

I have always said I would love to run. The big thing (s) getting in my way have been the puppies. They just can't be restrained - no matter how big the bra. But this time I did some proper research. I don't mean scientific - I sought out reviews of from ladies with MUCH bigger boobs than mine and bought the bra they said worked.
(it's called Enell (Elma? ha ha) and is from www.lessbounce.com 



...or as Cleggy called it 'let's bounce'. Reckon that's a whole different website!!)
  
It's not easy to physically get the bugger on, at least not with your dignity intact, and I'm not sure where my boobage actually went - but they don't move when in it. LITERALLY!
(I did find some of it when I tried to apply some deodorant but couldn't find my arm pit for boob! Too much info?? sorry)

another poncho in the making - my favourite colours, navy and pink

I also did a bit of research on the App running programme thing and decided upon the original 'couch to 5K'. A couple of people also recommended alternatives but I knew that if I looked into it again (with a coffee and a biscuit) I'd never get started.

I asked Cleggy yesterday if  he would come to the park with me lest I faint on my first attempt (long story) and his reply 'what...the local park'?
Yep - that's where I went ALONE today! 

The app is a 9 week programme where you basically do a mixture of jogging and walking (a minute or so at a time) three times a week, which gradually builds up the running. There are lots of versions of it and an NHS one - they all look much of a muchness (feel free to comment with your own view on this - it makes me laugh out loud to think there might ensue a discussion on RUNNING on my fluffy blog!!!)

Did I complete the first workout? Yes I did
Did I think at a one point I was dying? yep
Did I think my (proper) trainers were squeaking? Yes I did. It was my bloody chest!
Did one of the local dogs look up at each squeak like I was communicating with him? yep
Did a dog nearly wee on my lovely water bottle placed at the base of a tree? yep (thank you kindly owner - with hindsight it was a stupid place to leave ones bottle)
Did I meet anyone I know? No. Thank goodness 
Did anyone laugh at me, fat girl almost running? No
(but they may have giggled behind my back at the large pair of knockers protruding from my shoulder blades)

first girl blocks I've made in ages!

I'm not going to do a weekly report (or anything that publicly sets myself up for failure!) but I might just add a one liner at the bottom of my infrequent blog posts. 

There;s bound to be someone out there who is currently procrastinating and might need to see how I get on
first!

Couldn't do a post without some pretty photos. Many more makes to show soon.
fee x
PS the phone speaks to you - as in tells you when to move from a walk to a jog. I couldn't hear the annoying woman (over my wheezing!) so had to turn her right up loud. On the way back, just as I passed an elderly gentleman walking his dog, she said 'pheeweee, lets walk'. He smiled at me like, 'oooh, lets!' I would have told him that it wasn't me it was my phone, but I couldn't breathe!

Normal service has resumed...

I think this might be the third time I've blogged about Gesail in Snowdonia (see here and here) as it's somewhere we try to visit at some point each year. 

The location is just STUNNING and it has no TV, internet or phone signal so we get to share REAL time together - just the tonic.

We have been with various members of the extended family (and taken some friends of the boys) but this time was with my little sister Nelly and her family. Mabel is now 2 and Wilf 6 months - and much loved by their big cousins.

I've wittered on about it enough in the past so (for the sake of my blog diary) I'll do a whistle stop show and tell of the best bits:

We visited (the nice bit of) Barmouth and caught some crabs

Found Grandpa Pig's boat (apologies is you aren't familiar with Peppa!)

BBQ'd some spatchcock chicken 

(wish I'd taken the photo when they were cooked, not raw!!)

 

And from a safer distance

We were all (a little too) fascinated by the dead badger 

(sorry - I have boys, what can I say?)

We LO♥E you G Kisby!

Played on rope swings that were a leeeetle bit too big. Couldn't concentrate as too busy looking to see who was watching!

A fair amount of crochet (with blanket on knee)

Some playing tea parties with smaller cousins

We did some

(love this photo)

and some

There was a great (competitive) game of Frisbee

we also

and

The teen even...

I found time to

There was the traditional game of playing in the ford, 

where someone also traditionally 'took it too far'!

Wearing of matching outfits

and the wrapping of Wilf in 'whatever we could find' since, 

despite being the start of summer, it was occasionally baltic. 

Poor Wilf - it included a large sports sock (on backwards)

There was the obligatory splashing in muddy puddles

We also

  

AND we took time to

This was the first time the BC's have stayed in the house rather than the barn (which we kept referring to as 'OUR barn'!) 

It's always seemed a little creepy and dark - but less so this time as we were there in sunshine. 

The owners Rose and Patrick are really keen to learn about and preserve the long history of the place - and we were delighted to find these photos of the house in the 'olden' days, along with the family who lived there (Patrick's ancestors)

 

The house looks so similar today 

(wish I'd taken the photo from the same angle...doh)

 

 and it's funny to think that these people looked at exactly the 

same amazing views

I took lots of photos of the inside of the house which I'll share on flickr - this post is already immense!

don't worry Rose - it's still there!

It's just a brilliant place for getting back to what's important in life. Delighting in the small things, making the most of every minute of every day and most importantly telling the people you love how much they mean to you...

The journey home was a typical British bank holiday one. 

 

The weather decided to be glorious (grrrrr) and the traffic was grim. Fortunately the views were amazing and the chips at Bala lake were worth being fat for!

Fee x